letting go

Im giving you up. How? i dont quite know yet but im gonig to try. How do you give up something you never really had? it's difficult but its something i have to do. I can no longer live in a world of fantasy and wishful thinking. You have been such a big part of my life. You were my whole childhood and you never even knew it.

I have to give you up know because i've given you every piece of me and now theres nothing left. Nothing left to give you and nothing left for me. I have stood by and watched you with other women, listened to your heartbreaking stories, dreamed about being the girl in your stories of romance and sweetness and fought for you. I've encouraged your efforts with other women which is probably the reason why you never knew i was in love with you this whole time.

I dont think i have the strength to do this anymore. I have to give you up. You have no idea how painful this is for me. I feel like im giving up a piece or myself.

you cant pretend you didn't know how i felt about you all this time. No one is that dense. you chose to ignore my feelings only needing me when no one else was there for you. Sadly, i knew that was the case since the beginning.I knew you never looked at me in that way but deep down there was a tiny hoe that someday you might. i grew so used to pretending to be happy for you with other women that i didnt see what it was doing to me. i grew so attached to you and now i dont know how to let go.. i dont know how but i have to... i dont have anything left in me to hold on you see? im broken. damaged. hurting.

I dont know how else to explain what im feeling except that it hurts. it hurts like hell.. I have no idea wht im going to do with out you... no idea at all... i know this is something i have to do so why am i resisting it? how come i dont want to do it? whats wrong with me?

How do i let you go?